As I write this, my girls and I are halfway through our little vacation to see Nana and Grandaddy. We are having a great time, but I can't help but think about our impending trip back home.

Let me paint a picture of what's coming: I will be traveling by air alone with two little girls, two car seats that weigh as much as a small hippo, one stroller, three checked bags and two carry-on bags and there are no non-stop flights between here and there, so we will be changing flights.

I have four more months before I have to start buying the baby a ticket. However, no one on the plane would be happy if my wild baby did not have a seat. So, I spend the week before every flight praying to God that there will be an extra seat so I can strap her in and keep her from opening the emergency exit or pulling the toupee off of the man in front of us.

We've done this several times, so I consider myself a sort of veteran at this. On the flight here, my experience paid off and so I decided to make a top three list of rules for moms on a plane:


Rule #1: Do not make eye contact. Yes, eye contact is usually a good thing to maintain, but on flights this rule goes out the window. You move ahead take your car seat on like you know what you are doing, place it in the seat and buckle those children in. Yes, you have taken up three seats and only bought two, but it will save your sanity and keep you from using your stash of free alcoholic drink vouchers that Southwest keeps sending in the mail.

If there are extra seats on the plane, this is no problem, however, it so happened that on the way here, there were no extra seats. People were searching the aisles for seats and the attendant kept announcing that every seat was taken so squeeze in. Every time one of the attendants would walk by, I could see them eyeing my extra seat that held my adorable baby. Knowing that they were going to probably ask me to give it up, I decided to not make eye contact. The flight attendant and I played this game about three times until I finally won and someone had to wait until the next flight - I know it was a little selfish, but it was only an hour wait and had that person sat next to us, they would have wished they had been bumped.

Rule #2: Don't drink anything two hours before you get to the airport.
The bathroom lavatory isn't a great place to visit under any circumstance, but with two small children it is downright miserable. As you are trying squat to avoid all germs, all you can do is bark no touching orders that will hopefully keep your curious children from contracting every disease that must exist in that horrible space.

Rule #3: Dress you and your children in cute outfits and wear lip gloss.
I hate to say it, but people are nicer to you if you look good. And no one, I mean no one wants to sit near rag-tag children. And at this point, every little bit of niceness helps!

Hopes this helps if you are ever "that woman with those children" on a plane. And if you see "that woman and her children" please be kind, she's doing the best she can!