Party like a rockstar...

Well, now I am officially 29... well, maybe 29 and a half, but who's counting. If you are as young as you think you are, or as young as your four-year-old thinks you are, then I fall somewhere in the two-to four-year-old range.

Yesterday was my big day and it has been creeping upon us with much anticipation. It all started a few weeks ago when I caught my four-year-old daughter, McKenzie, heading out the back door. In my best mom voice, I asked her just where did she think she was going? Well, I was quickly put in my place when she told me that she was heading to a nearby neighbor's house to take her a letter about my birthday party. After more questions, I found out that McKenzie had written an invitation to this friend asking her to a birthday party in my honor at Chuck E.Cheese!

It was such a cute thought, however, it was not just the thought that counted. McKenzie has spent every day since then planning my birthday party with the big mouse! (Did I mention that we don't even have a Chuck E. Cheese in this town?)

She insisted that we make gift bags for attendees, cupcakes with sprinkles and we even went and bought mommy some gift cards to TJ Maxx - granted, I did give her a little help with that part!

So, fast forward to the night before the big day. It is almost midnight and I can hear her in her room singing a rendition of Happy Birthday that included the words "Chuck E. Cheese." I went into her room to tell her that she needed to get some rest if she was going to get the high score at skeeball, but she was too keyed up for sleep!

After twenty futile minutes of trying to sing her to sleep, I decided that if I couldn't beat her, I'd just join her. I went to the kitchen and got us two cupcakes and two glasses of milk. She serenaded me with the birthday song and we ate our cupcakes right there in her bed! Then, she took her cup of milk and "cheered" me and said "Mommy, I just love you and I love your birthday!" I have to say that it was definitely one of those little moments that I'll file away forever.

By 1 a.m., she was sleeping soundly with visions of Chuck and cheese pizza dancing in her head.

When lunch time finally rolled around the next day, I could hardly contain her in her car seat as we made the 30-minute track to the mouse trap. We had 10 in our party and I have to say, McKenzie was quite the hostess. We had fun gift bags, lots of tokens and many wonderful memories.

When Chuck himself made an appearance, she went up and told him that it was her mommy's birthday. I'm sure he was impressed!

It was a birthday I will never forget! Thanks McKenzie and I love you, too!

There's some junk in my trunk

Where have I been? Well, I've been out looking for junk. Yes, junk, collectibles, antiques, knick-knacks, whatever you want to call it. Why? Well, let me take you back a few weeks when my sister was visiting.
It was a beautiful day and we were strolling down the main street of this Midwestern town where I live. We wandered into an antique mall that I had never been in before due to the fact that I usually have two small children with me and they could no doubt dismantle the entire treasure trove in two minutes. Anyway, we hadn't been in there five minutes when I saw a "FOR RENT" sign. Without hesitation, I rented said booth!
My sister asked me what in the world was I going to put into an antique booth. I had no idea, but it sounded fun! In fact, this hobby has several pros: shopping is required, it only requires a short-term commitment, I don't have to actually work at the store and you make a little play money.
I am glad to report that my booth is full, and so is our garage, but let's not talk about that as it is sort of a sore subject with my husband. The booth is doing quite well though.
Most of my buys are found at garage sales and others at thrift stores. Yes, my car could accurately have one of those trashy "This car stops at garage sales" bumper stickers on it, but it does not and will not.
I have picked up so many great buys that is hard to remember them all, but I'll tell you about a few and then I will update you in coming weeks. Please curb your enthusiasm!
Today, I picked up a couple of paintings by an artist who is well-known in the art world, but obviously not to the older couple who sold each one to me for .50 cents! I came home and checked ebay and oh my there will be a huge profit margin!
A few weeks ago, I picked up some Fiesta wear for a quarter each. I almost had to knock another woman off of my arm when she heard the man tell me how much he was selling it for, but I prevailed and sold it for $40 the next day!
It's like my own little version of the Antique Roadshow!
Here's a chair that I picked up last weekend for $1. I put $2 of material and screws into it and sold it the next day for $25.



OK, so here's the last deal of the week that I will tell you about: I went to Goodwill to look at books, not knowing anything about buying antique books except that first editions are what you want. I found one for .49 cents and decided that even if it turned out to be worthless that I wouldn't have invested too much. I got home and looked it up, and it was worth something. Get this it's on ebay for: $200!

As I write this, my girls and I are halfway through our little vacation to see Nana and Grandaddy. We are having a great time, but I can't help but think about our impending trip back home.

Let me paint a picture of what's coming: I will be traveling by air alone with two little girls, two car seats that weigh as much as a small hippo, one stroller, three checked bags and two carry-on bags and there are no non-stop flights between here and there, so we will be changing flights.

I have four more months before I have to start buying the baby a ticket. However, no one on the plane would be happy if my wild baby did not have a seat. So, I spend the week before every flight praying to God that there will be an extra seat so I can strap her in and keep her from opening the emergency exit or pulling the toupee off of the man in front of us.

We've done this several times, so I consider myself a sort of veteran at this. On the flight here, my experience paid off and so I decided to make a top three list of rules for moms on a plane:


Rule #1: Do not make eye contact. Yes, eye contact is usually a good thing to maintain, but on flights this rule goes out the window. You move ahead take your car seat on like you know what you are doing, place it in the seat and buckle those children in. Yes, you have taken up three seats and only bought two, but it will save your sanity and keep you from using your stash of free alcoholic drink vouchers that Southwest keeps sending in the mail.

If there are extra seats on the plane, this is no problem, however, it so happened that on the way here, there were no extra seats. People were searching the aisles for seats and the attendant kept announcing that every seat was taken so squeeze in. Every time one of the attendants would walk by, I could see them eyeing my extra seat that held my adorable baby. Knowing that they were going to probably ask me to give it up, I decided to not make eye contact. The flight attendant and I played this game about three times until I finally won and someone had to wait until the next flight - I know it was a little selfish, but it was only an hour wait and had that person sat next to us, they would have wished they had been bumped.

Rule #2: Don't drink anything two hours before you get to the airport.
The bathroom lavatory isn't a great place to visit under any circumstance, but with two small children it is downright miserable. As you are trying squat to avoid all germs, all you can do is bark no touching orders that will hopefully keep your curious children from contracting every disease that must exist in that horrible space.

Rule #3: Dress you and your children in cute outfits and wear lip gloss.
I hate to say it, but people are nicer to you if you look good. And no one, I mean no one wants to sit near rag-tag children. And at this point, every little bit of niceness helps!

Hopes this helps if you are ever "that woman with those children" on a plane. And if you see "that woman and her children" please be kind, she's doing the best she can!

Highlights of the week...

So, the husband and I went to see The Proposal last night (great movie, btw.) The evening started out on a bad note - we were going to ride jet skis but when we pulled up to the lake, he realized that he had left the keys to the boat trailer at work. So there we are wondering how we can salvage our date night. Well, Plan B turned out to be fabulous, at least for my self-esteem.

Let me back-up, I've not had the greatest week on several levels. On Monday, I realized that maybe I need to step it a notch in the beauty department. I was hit on by the ugliest lesbian ever! I guess my tired blue jeans and T-shirts aren't doing me any favors. I'm sure the usual ball cap doesn't really paint me in the best light either.

Several other things have happened this week, too, but I don't want to go into them on this blog, but let me assure you, I am really looking forward to vacation next week!

So, now back to last night at the box office. Like I said, I thought we were going to the lake so I hadn't fixed up. However, when I asked for two tickets to see The Proposal, the cashier asked if I would like to use my student I.D. to get my movie discount! If there haden't been a pane of glass between us, I might have hugged her! She salvaged the week! Thank you movie girl!

Summer time...

Ahhh... here we are in the middle of summer. Who says there is a shortage of jobs out there?

I have taken on several summer jobs, and they are going quite nicely. I'm working part-time as a taxi driver and have basically three clients, except on days where they have a friend with them. So far, the only tips I've gotten are kisses, hugs and grins from the back seat, but hey, that's the best kind.





I'm also working as a gardener where my herb, tomato and pepper plants are flourishing. I've even been able to use my abundance of basil to make six batches of homemade pesto, which got a thumbs up from one of my four-year-old regulars at my chef gig. Last night, I even threaded some fresh zucchini onto rosemary spears and grilled them - kind of fancy for a place that seems to cater to kids.



One of my most fun jobs is as an art gallery curator. The pesto loving 4-year-old is attending art school this summer and has filled our home with her beautiful creations. The Louvre better look out!


I put in for a few hours of vacation and used that time to create my own masterpieces. See, I've always been awed by pottery. (Blame it on "Ghost" which was one of favorite movies in high school!) Watching people create these beautiful pieces of art on a pottery wheel seems magical, at least it did until I started taking a pottery class.

Yes, I signed up for a night pottery class. Before the class started, I was imagining beautiful pots and gorgeous vases dotting the landscape of my home. I could already feel a swell of pride knowing that I was going to create such masterpieces.

The first night, we were handed a 25-pound bag of clay. I was surely going to need way more than that to make all of my pieces! The teacher explained the basics and sent us to pottery wheels to start our designs. (Nevermind that I didn't really understand much of what he told us about glazes, centering and firing.)

After gathering all of my tools, water, towels and beating my clay like he had shown us, I finally sat down at the wheel. Hmmm, now what was I supposed to do? The teacher was already off working on his own things so there I was with this ball of mud and a bowl of water.

I slapped it on the wheel and began making the most beautiful... uh, well, I'm not really sure what you would call it. The sad thing is that the pitiful little thing is the best thing that I made all night!

Since that night, six weeks ago, I have also made a mug, two votive holders and a bowl - none of which I set out to create. Yes, at their inception, each piece had promise of being a tall vase that would grace my mantel. However, somewhere along the spinning wheel, each piece of clay would fold over on itself and fall into my hands like mud from my flower garden. Being the resourceful person that I am, I made what I could with what I had.

Now, I am the proud owner of a miniature mug (they didn't us that things would shrink in the kiln), a thumb/rose holder (my first creation), a hideously tiny bowl and the two votive holders.

When I brought them home, the reviews were mixed. My husband said, "that's what you've been doing for six weeks while I watch the children?" The pesto-loving 4-year-old said that they were beautiful and that I was an artist just like her! One out of two ain't bad, but I don't think I'll add "potter" to my list of summer jobs next year!

Cold Remedy

On a cold day like today, I'd just like to curl up with a heating pad, a stack of magazines, some good music and a cup of tea.
I guess that I sort of got to have my ideal day if you put on some very rose colored glasses. I had the seat heater on while I drove kids to various appointments, read a stack of "I can read books" to my daughters, listened to the baby's classical cd and sipped a cup of coffee from McDonald's. Yes, I tried a latte from McDonald's. I don't even like coffee, but with an outside temperature of 16 degrees, coffee can't be all bad. Add an apple pie to your order and it makes the coffee even more bearable!

Potty Witch

Well, as most of my blog friends know by now, my three-year-old speaks her mind, and it's not always full of intelligent, caring thoughts, but I am outsmarting her, at least for now.
Let's go back eight months. That is when I began the process of potty training her. I'm now thinking it would have been easier to potty train a litter of cats, and I don't mean domestic ones.

Here's just a synopsis of what has gone on:

I've given every incentive I can find, tattooed her with Cinderella, Snow White, Dora, Aerial - you name it. She's so inked up that she is starting to look like she should be hanging at a triker bar instead of preschool.

I may soon lose my library card due to the fact that my reading list contains more books that contain the words "poop" and "pee" than are allowed.

She now has a plain potty seat, a Dora potty seat and a Princess Throne potty.

She can take off and put on her own pull-up.

Oh and my favorite, she's eaten her weight in M&Ms.

In other words, she has the upper hand. It's not pretty, Dr. Dobson wouldn't be proud, neither would Dr. Spock for that matter.

A few months ago, we hired the potty whisperer to come. On the phone, she told me that for $60, she would have her fully trained by mid-December. She came the day before Thanksgiving and we are still wearing pull-ups.

Said daughter did not like the woman and it was very obvious. After an hour of bathroom torture, my precious little girl changed the Potty Whisperer's name to Potty Witch. Soon after, she got on her broom and flew away - never to return! That money was down the toilet - at least something made it there.

Well, now I get to the good part, the part where I have the upper hand. I have recently discovered that all I have to do is utter the words "potty witch" and whatever she is doing wrong is automatically corrected.

If she needs to clean her room and won't do it... I no longer resort to singing that silly song, "Clean up, clean up" I just softly whisper "potty witch" and reach for the phone. She goes into speed cleaning mode.

If she won't eat her dinner, the same trick can be used. We've had a clean plate every night for two weeks!

Hey, I may not have gotten the promised goods from the P.W., but I'm getting my money's worth!